Mom,

I’m sorry for being an introvert.

I’m sorry that I hide parts of myself. 

I’m sorry that I don’t share much with you anymore. When I was little, you took care of me and gave me all that you could, in only the way that a true mother would. 

I’m sorry for my twin curse of reckless arrogance and infinite pride. I am your firstborn after all. 

In my darkest days of self doubt and fear you were there for me. 

In my proudest moments of victory and glory you were there for me. 

I can finally feel your pain. 

I think I finally understand you. 

Which is why we are farther apart than before. I don’t want you to think the world has gotten to me, but it has. No longer is it a world full of fun and infinite possibilities. 

I now see the true value of empathy, discipline, and kindness. I now realize why we must be kind to one another. Why we have to be disciplined. Why we have to overcome our own feelings and our own neediness for others. 

I know you taught me all of these values growing up but I never took them to heart, I knew them but I never felt them. 

I am going through so much and I am feeling so much. 

The child within me that you loved is fading.

I’m sorry. 

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